What to-do?

One final to go!! I'm feeling pretty amazing! Had dinner with my sister tonight and it was great! =) Good bonding time. I love having free time, though my to-do list is pretty sizeable. I have tomorrow off which I am going to use to study, go to the studio for Kat's family pictures, and sleeeeeep! =) I do love having days off. I got my hair cut today. Though it was not anything too different, my hair is styled and is looking fabulous. I can't wait for Christmas. =) Well, this is my to-do list over break. Wish me luck.

1. Work on Gal stuff and make sure I am all caught up.
2. Sleep. I deserve it.
3. Spend time with special people. =)
4. See my family and have an amazing time.
5. Spend more quiet time with God. I am lagging on that!
6. Take more time to breathe. =)

Well, it's early and I'm tired. Watching the Nanny til I fall asleep. =)

Life as I know It.

Life is amazing. I love work. School is winding down. I get to see family soon. And I have great people in my life. I got to hang out with Cooper today and it was the best thing ever!! He was giggling the entire time and I loved it!! I have missed seeing him all the time. Work has picked up quite a bit so I have been working a lot. I don't mind it at all though. Anyways! Jackie and I were joking on facebook about Europe the other day so I figured I would post a picture. Off to bed!

Random!

I'm so happy. Just thought that should be put out there. The roomies and I are getting pictures done tomorrow which we have wanted to do since we started living together. Life is good. Christmas break needs to come. I am burnt out on school. I need the month of freedom just to screw around and do what I want. I would like to go home for a while and see my friends, but I doubt I'll get that much time off of work. Meh. Oh well! At least I love my job! =) The people I work with are amazing. So funny!! It's like a big family!! Cooper is getting big which is weird. I like just holding him and being able to play. =) Well, enough random rants from me. Good night!

Boys. What more can I say?? They complicate life, but sure do make it fun. =) I think I am starting to get a crush which sounds so childish, but it's true. He's funny, smart, and can laugh with me which is so refreshing. I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I like the way it feels while it lasts. Turkey day was good for my than just the usual answers. =) Hmmm... I should sleep... Night!!!

My life. Boring, huh?

I'm so borrrrrred!!!!! I am in Springfield because I work until 3 tomorrow then I get to go home. I love work, but it sucks to be the only one here. I am doing laundry so that's a load off. I actually made dinner tonight which it's the first day I've done that in over a week. Being sick and busy makes me not hungry and too tired to do anything. So, since I have time I am going to make a list of things I am thankful for!
1. Family without whom I would not function.
2. Friends from home who make me want to be a better person.
3. Gals for whom I would not still be in Springfield if not for them.
4. The Picture People. How can I love something and get paid for it?
5. The people I work with. They make me smile and feel special.
6. Music. It helps me function even on bad days.
7. The Nanny. It makes me laugh and smile when I don't feel like it.
8. My bed. It's great. ;)
9. My roommates. They deal with me at my absolute worst.
10. My life. I am so blessed.

Well, That's my life. Here's a picture from an amazing place. I miss this.

Sick. =(

I am still sick and about to go crazy with it!! I have not felt great in about 4 days. All I want to do is curl up in my bed, have a movie marathon, and snuggle. Yet none of this is going to happen because I have no time to. School is lame. I am tired of it and I am ready for a trip home. I just want a lazy weekend at home, but I know I am not going to get it until after Christmas.
Work is still going really well, but being sick is a pain. The people I work with are fabulous! I couldn't ask for more amazing people. They are just like a big family!! It kind of makes me miss my DQ fam. haha.
Well, I am way behind on homework and need to stop being a bum. Wish me luck on my homework. The pile is not cute.

Directions.

The direction of my life is unknown. School is fine, but I don't know what I want to do with my life. I just never stick with anything for very long because I never seem to care. I'm not sure why this is, but I have a feeling it's because I never want to apply myself and it's easier to start over than to care. I'm not sure why I think like this.
On a lighter note, I am living how I want. I would love to eventually start a family and grow up, but as of right now I am way to selfish to even think about it. Getting a dog would be too much of a commitment. Even though I don't want that type of a commitment, I would love to have a relationship and start dating again. I just never seem to find the right person or they don't think of me that way. That's fine with me, but it would just be nice to have someone think of me in a different way. Meh. I'll deal. I would love to fall in love. Just sayin.
This is boring just like my life right now. Homework is going to occur now so yeah...

Random Rants of a Crazy Girl.

"There's always gunna be another mountain. I'm always gunna want to make it move." Yes, you may find this to be a lame song, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not the song, but what it really stands for. I am the type of person who likes to control her situation and make sure that I am happy with how it is turning out. The thing is, I can't control everything which actually bothers me more than you could know. I want to keep pushing and pulling and making everything the way I think it should be. Life, as we all know, is not like this at all. For instance, I told myself that I was done with Springfield after this semester, but somehow I have changed my outlook, though just a little. I'm not saying I want to live here forever, but I am going to finish school here. Most days though I can't wait to get back to the STL. I think it's my place. Maybe, maybe not but as of right now that's where I want to be. I change my mind daily as you can see, but I still hate losing control. Geez, another rant. Who would have thought?

Living My Life the Way I Love It.

So, it's Tuesday night and I am sitting in my room waiting for my hair to finish. I am dying it yet again. Part of me is tired of doing it, but I do like a change now and again. Random thought I know. So in other news, I am in love with my job. I get to shoot photos all day, hang out with amazing people, and be creative. What could be better?? It's pretty great getting to do what you love and getting paid for it. I love the family environment too even though it makes me miss my family a little bit more. I am ready to go home. It's been almost 7 weeks and I'm just ready to have a relaxing weekend at home though I know that Thanksgiving will be just the opposite, but it will be great to see everyone!
Though I love home, I am surprised I like living here so much. I have amazing roommates who get me and make me feel like part of their family. It's great to have my own place and still have somewhere to call home. The only thing I wish I didn't have while living here are bills!! haha. But I guess that's part of being an adult, or so I'm told. Though I love love love living here this year, some days I do miss my old roomie, who got engaged last week. I've attached a few pictures from the lovely event.
So, I am part of the exec. for my sorority Gal and I love serving, but some days I feel like I am not the right person for the job. I do like it, but I feel like a selfish person when I fall behind or lash out at someone else because it's just not a good day. I am not going to let this get me down. It's stupid and not going to make a difference in the end. I just need to decide what I am going to do next semester. Still needs some thought as you see.
I am so happy right now and I pray that my life can continue in that same direction. I am loving the season and the holidays coming up. My mind is blown that it's Thanksgiving next week!! I'm stoked. It's been a pretty good week. Well, must go wash this crap out of my hair. Peace!

To Go or Not to Go!

So, I'm sitting in my office hours contemplating going to class tonight. With all my heart I do not want to go to my cooking class though I know I should. How to decide? Mondays are terrible and I would rather eat a toe nail than have another day like this. It happens this way every week and I think I just need to plan my schedule better next semester. I know that I should be the responsible adult and go to class, but there is a large part of me that just wants to go read a book or watch a movie. Being an adult is super lame. Just a thought. Well, back to the real world!! =P

Pictures of You...

Photography. One thing that I feel gets me through anything. It makes you feel emotion. What ever kind that may be. I hope mine makes a difference some day. The thought of picking up my camera puts a big smile on my face. To make memories last forever for people just makes my heart smile. I hope that it becomes part of my career because I would love this feeling everyday. I'm hoping that's the way my new job is. I am working at the Picture People. =) I'm hoping this ends up well. I think I get to go home this weekend and I can't wait. I am taking my best friends' senior pictures and it's going to be awesome. She is amazing. It's so great to know someone that great and that they don't care how old you are. I love that feeling of still connecting with people even with our different ages. Here is something I took at our retreat at Galilee a couple weeks ago.

Friends of the Best Kind.

My friends are everything to me. They make me smile and laugh and make everything better. I love calling them on random Mondays just to hear that they are having a good day and that they miss me. They make me miss them so much, but I know I am where I am supposed to be. I truly miss Lindsay, Becky, Sandra, Landon, Ryan, Kevin, Becky, and so many others!! But I am loving my friends here and Gal. It's actually been a really good semester. I am liking my classes and meeting people who I never would have met otherwise. I think night classes are for me. I actually like having my days free. =) It's pretty nice. This is just me loving life.

Family, Friends, and Some In Between.

I am done chasing. I have always been the forward one who is looking to be that girl. I'm done. If it's going to happen, He is going to make it happen. I will not be the first to text anymore or the one who is putting her heart on the line. My heart is being molded and transformed for someone who deserves it. No rushing. No pushing. It just takes time. I want you to be that man for me. The one who is vulnerable with me and tells me that I am the one you want. I don't want to be convenience. I am worth so much more than that and we both know that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, same on me. I won't let this be again. I don't trust you with my heart and I'm not sure if I ever will.

How come I have to be the one with the "liberal" personality? How come just because of the way I think makes me the guilty one? Just because I have an open mind, does not mean that I am a bad person. Yeah, sure, we were raised differently, but why does that make a difference. I love you very much and only want the world for you, but sometimes I feel like it's a one way street. Sometimes you should practice what you preach. Jesus loved the sinners, the blind, the different, the hard of heart. How come some people can't see that? My heart is for everyone, at least I try to make it that way, but why just the because the color someone's skin is you can't love them too. One day I pray that maybe you can open your mind and see through another set of eyes and I will try with all my heart to do the same. I love you and that's the only reason we can make this work. Best friends.

I started blogging because I realized how much is in head and how good it feels to make it known to the world. I am a girl with thoughts. Some weird, silly, funny, crazy, and needed. I know that if your reading this, you probably have a reason why and want to get into my head. Well. At last you have done it. Sure, I am honest with people who ask and I trust, but there are some things that even I, the loud, awkward girl feel that I can't say to someones face. I know I need to work on this, but until that happens, this is all I have. It makes me feel like I am speaking to the people who mean the most. I am a girl who has the greatest family. They are truly all I need. I thank them for all the support I have ever had and more. I know that I have people to talk to always. I think that's what makes it so hard to be away from home because I can't find refuge there on a random Tuesday night, at least not during the school year. I also know that I am growing as a person and know that I always have that support whenever I need it. That is what's amazing about my family. There is always someone to support me whenever I need it. It's the best feeling in the world.

Thoughts of you...

"Thought of you and how you've changed me fill my mind." I feel like my heart and life can see the Godly change in my life, but I feel as though many people can't see a difference from when I was just going through life for me. I feel sometimes like I am negative and worry about a lot. I think that is just God's way of telling me that my life isn't perfect and I shouldn't act like it is. I need to lean on my friends and family more when I get that way. Hmmm... More later