I am so blessed.

Life in the past two years has changed so much. I have become an aunt for the second time, got a dog, graduated from college, moved from Springfield to St. Louis, got hospitalized, lost a dear person in my life, and fell deeper in love with the man of my dreams.  Here's some more detail...

Becoming an aunt for the first time was amazing, but becoming an aunt for the second time was just incredible! I had the fortune to be with my niece and nephew from the day they were born. I got to see them change week to week which was so cool! Abigail and Cooper are just amazing and I love getting to be their aunt!!!!!

Next, I got my awesome dog Teddy! I actually got him before Abby was born, but he is also a big part of my life!  He is just awesome and loves our new home in St. Louis with mom and dad! :) he has become part of the pack and couldn't be happier!

In the last two years I also graduated from Ozarks Technical Community College. I would not have expected to graduate from a technical school when I first started college, but it ended up working out for the best!  I met some incredible people during my time in Springfield including my incredible boyfriend of now three years!  I have been incredibly fortunate to have met then people I did and make the connections that I did! :) I have no complaints on how my college experience turned out and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

After I graduated in May of 2012 Gary and I moved home to St. Louis the following November.  As much as I loved being away for school, I was just as happy to move home.  I am a big home body and I love being here!  Gary is originally from Sikeston, but is adjusting well to the suburbs! He is working the FedEx terminal here and has already received a promotion! I am so happy here with him and some of my family and Gary says he loves it here too! :) I am very happy with the move and love being back!

The following February after we moved back I actually got a blood clot in my liver.  It was something so out of the blue I thought I had the flu! It definitely made me stop and reevaluate what was important to me. I had to slow down, take my time healing, and take a break from my job search. It actually was a blessing in disguise for me. I ended up spending the summer with my wonderful grandma. We had a lot of time together to go shopping, watch tv, and hang out. I couldn't complain about it if I try. 

I also ended up getting a job offer to be the nanny of one of the cutest kids!  I have been her nanny since she was two months old! Sydney is so much fun and I love getting to see her change. The family I work for are so nice to me and appreciate me so! Being around a baby makes me miss Cooper and Abby, but I still get to see them most every month.

This past winter was a bittersweet one. We found out my grandma had been living with stomach cancer in September. My grandma Bern was one of my favorite people in the world.  She was so full of  life and God's love that it was hard to imagine being here without her. When we found out she was sick, she was moved back to her home. She had been moving around staying with her kids the four years or so, but she had always wanted to move back to her home. It was such a blessing for her to be able to do so. We went up almost every weekend to be with her. She ended up passing away on the 16th of December. Christmas was hard for the family, but it definitely helped being together. As we thought and talked about Grandma we had realized we had her for the past three Christmases, New Years, and her last birthday and Mother's Day.  We are heart broken she is no longer here, but reflecting on the last year with her makes it feel okay. I got to spend so much extra time with my granny and I would not have traded it for anything.  

Well, that's my life on the past two years. Maybe I will keep this thing up to date from now on. Here's to hoping...

Cooper and Abby on Christmas Eve at the Firehouse!

Family at Cathy and Mike's property

At Chrissy and Jacob's beautiful wedding

Katie's wedding wonderful wedding

With Miranda at her and Patrick's wedding. Gary and I did the video for it!

Me and Shley

Cousins at the Delaney wedding!

UMB Champions club with Marie, Bob, and Gary!

Go Birds!

At Fast Eddie's for Gary's birthday

Sam and I at crown candy!

Michelle, Me, Chaney, and Marsha at a Cards game July 2013

Family for babies dedication,

Baby dedication weekend!

Becky and Ashley on graduation day!

Jessica's high school graduation

Tea party with mom and Abby

Me and Coopy Joe! :)

Siblings at my college school graduation!

Whole fam at graduation

Austin and I at graduation

Cooper and Abby from September 2013

Eagle's Fork pumpkin patch with Meemaw and Pop

Cooper riding a pony

At Apple Butter Making Days in Mount Vernon

 

90's Prom

My weekend was the incredible. I hung out with some great work friends and had a magical evening with my boyfriend at Prom. Yes, Prom. Gal had the usual formal, but the formal had the theme of 90's prom. We had all this great music, hilarious outfits, great food, and lovely decorations. Also, in the last week I had a photo shoot with the lovely Kiley!! I have a bunch of photos from this so here are a few to enjoy. I need to get off the couch. Here's to a good start to my week! =)


I love this.


She's gorgeous!


I love her!


Our lovely dinner party!


I love this man!


My lovely roomies!!


The lovely engaged couple!


These people are amazing!! =)

Winter Blues?? I think not!

I'm so happy that it scares me. I have loved seeing the snow, but I'm ready for the sun!! Summer dates are so much more exciting!! Can't wait to hang out with my new friends as well as see my old ones!! I love the idea of double dates, late night pizza runs, and whatever the crap I want to do!! I'm hoping to shoot like crazy when it warms up because I am not feeling very inspired right now. Any ideas?? I would love to just take portraits all day long, but I love to also shoot outside for a change of scenery, literally.
I want to go to Vegas so bad this summer, but it seems that my bank account would disagree. I am saving, but it takes a while. I feel like something magical could happen and I don't want to miss anything!! I want to see the world and have someone to do it with.
Well, hopefully I'll see people this week. My week is starting slow. All for now. Baking in the morning, God willing.

Snow Days Everywhere!

So I am on snow day number 3 and it's been a great week. I loved having a snow week, but I'm ready to get bad in the swing of things. I have made such great friends lately. I have gotten to know my work friends so much better and it means the world to me. Things with the guy are going well and I can't wait to see where else it goes. =) I'm doing something cute for Valentines Day so I hope he looves it! I also had a few friends over the other night for a girls night which was so fun!! I love seeing Chrissy!! I have missed living with her, but life is turning out so great with Marsha and Michelle too. I am sad to live seperate from them next year, but it will be great anyways!! Mom and dad are coming down for the weekend which shall be grand!! They are meeting Gary for the first time so I bet it will go well. Can't wait!! Well, sleep for tomorrow shall be a full day!! =)

Snow day!!!!

No school? I'll take that. It's the first week back and I'm already ready for the summer. I had an incredible weekend. Work party, seeing friends, and a certain someone. :) I'm not sure what to do with my day! Maybe shopping? Coffee house hang out sounds perfect. Hmmmm... So many options!! :) I love love love snow. Sorry to my roommates who have school today. I love you anyways!! Well, I'm still in bed and should probably start my day. I'm so spoiled. Have a great day!! :)

Am I always driving people away?? This is one of my biggest fears in life. I always want to be the person who always has it together. I'm not. I'm messy, goofy, loud, and much too much to deal with. Thank God I have found people in my life who deal with me and don't run in the opposite direction. I'm usually not this girl but lately I have been a freaking head case. Maybe it's hormones or maybe it's life getting back at me for being selfish. Who knows? Bah!! Going to go make a blanket now. Probably the most productive thing I have done outside of work in weeks. Peace!

Rant, Ramble, and Roll.

Sometimes I believe I need to live by myself forever. I am over sensitive, incredibly anal and like quite. This is nothing like my personally however. I love people. I would die if I didn't have someone to talk to at all hours of the day. I am a co-dependent individual, but also independent. I contradict myself on a daily basis and change my mind more often than some people brush their teeth. My day went from incredibly productive to laying in my bed and moping about the Notebook. Of winter days, how you screw with me. I am hoping to be much more productive at work tonight and not be such a bum. Haven't seen anyone but Kat and Coop in the last couple days. Some interaction please? Life is bleh and so is my mood. haha

What to-do?

One final to go!! I'm feeling pretty amazing! Had dinner with my sister tonight and it was great! =) Good bonding time. I love having free time, though my to-do list is pretty sizeable. I have tomorrow off which I am going to use to study, go to the studio for Kat's family pictures, and sleeeeeep! =) I do love having days off. I got my hair cut today. Though it was not anything too different, my hair is styled and is looking fabulous. I can't wait for Christmas. =) Well, this is my to-do list over break. Wish me luck.

1. Work on Gal stuff and make sure I am all caught up.
2. Sleep. I deserve it.
3. Spend time with special people. =)
4. See my family and have an amazing time.
5. Spend more quiet time with God. I am lagging on that!
6. Take more time to breathe. =)

Well, it's early and I'm tired. Watching the Nanny til I fall asleep. =)

Life as I know It.

Life is amazing. I love work. School is winding down. I get to see family soon. And I have great people in my life. I got to hang out with Cooper today and it was the best thing ever!! He was giggling the entire time and I loved it!! I have missed seeing him all the time. Work has picked up quite a bit so I have been working a lot. I don't mind it at all though. Anyways! Jackie and I were joking on facebook about Europe the other day so I figured I would post a picture. Off to bed!

Random!

I'm so happy. Just thought that should be put out there. The roomies and I are getting pictures done tomorrow which we have wanted to do since we started living together. Life is good. Christmas break needs to come. I am burnt out on school. I need the month of freedom just to screw around and do what I want. I would like to go home for a while and see my friends, but I doubt I'll get that much time off of work. Meh. Oh well! At least I love my job! =) The people I work with are amazing. So funny!! It's like a big family!! Cooper is getting big which is weird. I like just holding him and being able to play. =) Well, enough random rants from me. Good night!

Boys. What more can I say?? They complicate life, but sure do make it fun. =) I think I am starting to get a crush which sounds so childish, but it's true. He's funny, smart, and can laugh with me which is so refreshing. I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I like the way it feels while it lasts. Turkey day was good for my than just the usual answers. =) Hmmm... I should sleep... Night!!!

My life. Boring, huh?

I'm so borrrrrred!!!!! I am in Springfield because I work until 3 tomorrow then I get to go home. I love work, but it sucks to be the only one here. I am doing laundry so that's a load off. I actually made dinner tonight which it's the first day I've done that in over a week. Being sick and busy makes me not hungry and too tired to do anything. So, since I have time I am going to make a list of things I am thankful for!
1. Family without whom I would not function.
2. Friends from home who make me want to be a better person.
3. Gals for whom I would not still be in Springfield if not for them.
4. The Picture People. How can I love something and get paid for it?
5. The people I work with. They make me smile and feel special.
6. Music. It helps me function even on bad days.
7. The Nanny. It makes me laugh and smile when I don't feel like it.
8. My bed. It's great. ;)
9. My roommates. They deal with me at my absolute worst.
10. My life. I am so blessed.

Well, That's my life. Here's a picture from an amazing place. I miss this.

Sick. =(

I am still sick and about to go crazy with it!! I have not felt great in about 4 days. All I want to do is curl up in my bed, have a movie marathon, and snuggle. Yet none of this is going to happen because I have no time to. School is lame. I am tired of it and I am ready for a trip home. I just want a lazy weekend at home, but I know I am not going to get it until after Christmas.
Work is still going really well, but being sick is a pain. The people I work with are fabulous! I couldn't ask for more amazing people. They are just like a big family!! It kind of makes me miss my DQ fam. haha.
Well, I am way behind on homework and need to stop being a bum. Wish me luck on my homework. The pile is not cute.

Directions.

The direction of my life is unknown. School is fine, but I don't know what I want to do with my life. I just never stick with anything for very long because I never seem to care. I'm not sure why this is, but I have a feeling it's because I never want to apply myself and it's easier to start over than to care. I'm not sure why I think like this.
On a lighter note, I am living how I want. I would love to eventually start a family and grow up, but as of right now I am way to selfish to even think about it. Getting a dog would be too much of a commitment. Even though I don't want that type of a commitment, I would love to have a relationship and start dating again. I just never seem to find the right person or they don't think of me that way. That's fine with me, but it would just be nice to have someone think of me in a different way. Meh. I'll deal. I would love to fall in love. Just sayin.
This is boring just like my life right now. Homework is going to occur now so yeah...

Random Rants of a Crazy Girl.

"There's always gunna be another mountain. I'm always gunna want to make it move." Yes, you may find this to be a lame song, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not the song, but what it really stands for. I am the type of person who likes to control her situation and make sure that I am happy with how it is turning out. The thing is, I can't control everything which actually bothers me more than you could know. I want to keep pushing and pulling and making everything the way I think it should be. Life, as we all know, is not like this at all. For instance, I told myself that I was done with Springfield after this semester, but somehow I have changed my outlook, though just a little. I'm not saying I want to live here forever, but I am going to finish school here. Most days though I can't wait to get back to the STL. I think it's my place. Maybe, maybe not but as of right now that's where I want to be. I change my mind daily as you can see, but I still hate losing control. Geez, another rant. Who would have thought?

Living My Life the Way I Love It.

So, it's Tuesday night and I am sitting in my room waiting for my hair to finish. I am dying it yet again. Part of me is tired of doing it, but I do like a change now and again. Random thought I know. So in other news, I am in love with my job. I get to shoot photos all day, hang out with amazing people, and be creative. What could be better?? It's pretty great getting to do what you love and getting paid for it. I love the family environment too even though it makes me miss my family a little bit more. I am ready to go home. It's been almost 7 weeks and I'm just ready to have a relaxing weekend at home though I know that Thanksgiving will be just the opposite, but it will be great to see everyone!
Though I love home, I am surprised I like living here so much. I have amazing roommates who get me and make me feel like part of their family. It's great to have my own place and still have somewhere to call home. The only thing I wish I didn't have while living here are bills!! haha. But I guess that's part of being an adult, or so I'm told. Though I love love love living here this year, some days I do miss my old roomie, who got engaged last week. I've attached a few pictures from the lovely event.
So, I am part of the exec. for my sorority Gal and I love serving, but some days I feel like I am not the right person for the job. I do like it, but I feel like a selfish person when I fall behind or lash out at someone else because it's just not a good day. I am not going to let this get me down. It's stupid and not going to make a difference in the end. I just need to decide what I am going to do next semester. Still needs some thought as you see.
I am so happy right now and I pray that my life can continue in that same direction. I am loving the season and the holidays coming up. My mind is blown that it's Thanksgiving next week!! I'm stoked. It's been a pretty good week. Well, must go wash this crap out of my hair. Peace!

To Go or Not to Go!

So, I'm sitting in my office hours contemplating going to class tonight. With all my heart I do not want to go to my cooking class though I know I should. How to decide? Mondays are terrible and I would rather eat a toe nail than have another day like this. It happens this way every week and I think I just need to plan my schedule better next semester. I know that I should be the responsible adult and go to class, but there is a large part of me that just wants to go read a book or watch a movie. Being an adult is super lame. Just a thought. Well, back to the real world!! =P

Pictures of You...

Photography. One thing that I feel gets me through anything. It makes you feel emotion. What ever kind that may be. I hope mine makes a difference some day. The thought of picking up my camera puts a big smile on my face. To make memories last forever for people just makes my heart smile. I hope that it becomes part of my career because I would love this feeling everyday. I'm hoping that's the way my new job is. I am working at the Picture People. =) I'm hoping this ends up well. I think I get to go home this weekend and I can't wait. I am taking my best friends' senior pictures and it's going to be awesome. She is amazing. It's so great to know someone that great and that they don't care how old you are. I love that feeling of still connecting with people even with our different ages. Here is something I took at our retreat at Galilee a couple weeks ago.

Friends of the Best Kind.

My friends are everything to me. They make me smile and laugh and make everything better. I love calling them on random Mondays just to hear that they are having a good day and that they miss me. They make me miss them so much, but I know I am where I am supposed to be. I truly miss Lindsay, Becky, Sandra, Landon, Ryan, Kevin, Becky, and so many others!! But I am loving my friends here and Gal. It's actually been a really good semester. I am liking my classes and meeting people who I never would have met otherwise. I think night classes are for me. I actually like having my days free. =) It's pretty nice. This is just me loving life.

Family, Friends, and Some In Between.

I am done chasing. I have always been the forward one who is looking to be that girl. I'm done. If it's going to happen, He is going to make it happen. I will not be the first to text anymore or the one who is putting her heart on the line. My heart is being molded and transformed for someone who deserves it. No rushing. No pushing. It just takes time. I want you to be that man for me. The one who is vulnerable with me and tells me that I am the one you want. I don't want to be convenience. I am worth so much more than that and we both know that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, same on me. I won't let this be again. I don't trust you with my heart and I'm not sure if I ever will.

How come I have to be the one with the "liberal" personality? How come just because of the way I think makes me the guilty one? Just because I have an open mind, does not mean that I am a bad person. Yeah, sure, we were raised differently, but why does that make a difference. I love you very much and only want the world for you, but sometimes I feel like it's a one way street. Sometimes you should practice what you preach. Jesus loved the sinners, the blind, the different, the hard of heart. How come some people can't see that? My heart is for everyone, at least I try to make it that way, but why just the because the color someone's skin is you can't love them too. One day I pray that maybe you can open your mind and see through another set of eyes and I will try with all my heart to do the same. I love you and that's the only reason we can make this work. Best friends.

I started blogging because I realized how much is in head and how good it feels to make it known to the world. I am a girl with thoughts. Some weird, silly, funny, crazy, and needed. I know that if your reading this, you probably have a reason why and want to get into my head. Well. At last you have done it. Sure, I am honest with people who ask and I trust, but there are some things that even I, the loud, awkward girl feel that I can't say to someones face. I know I need to work on this, but until that happens, this is all I have. It makes me feel like I am speaking to the people who mean the most. I am a girl who has the greatest family. They are truly all I need. I thank them for all the support I have ever had and more. I know that I have people to talk to always. I think that's what makes it so hard to be away from home because I can't find refuge there on a random Tuesday night, at least not during the school year. I also know that I am growing as a person and know that I always have that support whenever I need it. That is what's amazing about my family. There is always someone to support me whenever I need it. It's the best feeling in the world.